[IZ] Broken Kalopsia - Chapter 17

Zim moodily glared at the falling rain. He hated it with passion, especially when it forced him to waste his time stuck somewhere, waiting for the clouds to dissipate. In that moment he was standing under the awning that covered the main entrance of the Hi Skool building. His mood hadn’t been stellar even before the water had started pouring down from the sky and the sight had just made him gloomier and gloomier. He was very tempted to call GIR and have the robot picking him up with the umbrella he actually had at his base, but the place was still crowded and it would have been too much of a risk. So, he didn’t have much of a choice. His eyes locked on the thick clouds. He just hoped that the storm wouldn’t last for hours.

A few days had passed since the afternoon spent gaming with Gaz and Dib at the Membrane residence, but he was still very far from finding a concrete answer to all the questions that his counsellor’s observations had brought up. Speaking of the women, he had had only another session with her after their last talk, right before the weekend, since she had been busy in the first part of the current week. Moreover, Ms Xander had preferred to focus on other subjects, deeming that he wasn’t ready to make any step forwards in the solution of his main issue, and that had hardly helped Zim’s mood since, in his eyes, such a useless delay was, for the most, a waste of the time he should have used to gather the replies he needed. There had been no way to change her mind, though, so he had been forced to resign himself to answer her inquires.

He almost scoffed as he mentally reviewed the session. For some obscure reason, she had chosen to drown him in queries concerning Red and Purple, of all things. The woman had soon given up on trying to make him explain the Tallest’s role and had started to ask more personal questions instead. How he had met them, for how long he had known them, what other “missions” he had carried out for them. She had looked very surprised when Zim had revealed her that the three of them where of the same age and that they had trained together. Apparently, she had expected the Tallest to be older than him, which underlined another huge difference between Irkens and humans. The value and the meaning their two races gave to time. The inhabitants of Earth could hardly live for ninety years, a hundred if they were very lucky, while the Invader’s people, if they didn’t get killed, could survive in health for centuries. That considered, it was no wonder that age was almost meaningless in the Irken society. Most of them didn’t even care to know how old they were.

The woman’s puzzlement hadn’t lasted for long, though. She had recovered quite quickly and had changed the nature of her questions a bit, starting to ask about the experiences he had shared with the other two, instead of inquiring about what kind of tasks and orders they had assigned to him, before moving to tell him to describe his usual interactions with them. One particular piece of the conversation had remained stuck in his head.

“So, they sent you away because, in their eyes, you failed your task in the worst way possible, but you came back, thinking that they wanted you back?” The counsellor had inquired, after he had told her, very vaguely, about the unfortunate ending of Operation Impending Doom I. “Why? Why did you think that you’d be welcome back? After all, they hadn’t even invited you.”

“Because I thought that they valued Zim and that there was no way they would have started the…mission without me,” he had answered, the confidence fading fast from his voice as he spoke. Now that he knew the truth, he had felt incredibly stupid thinking about all the obvious clues he had missed. “I thought that…that the invitation had simply got lost.”

“Even after they had told you that you weren’t supposed to be there? After they tried to give you a…sandwich instead of an assignment? The thought that something was off didn’t touch you?” She had insisted, her tone careful and firm at the same time. She had been acting as if she had been probing a still open wound and, in a way, it had been exactly what she had been doing, even if on a metaphorical level. “That’s when they brought up the “secret mission” and sent you here, correct? The lack of details didn’t seem weird to you?”

Zim had lowered his head, feeling humiliated at having all those facts pushed in his face. He had imagined oh-so-clearly the kind of laughter that his Tallest had to have had behind his back once he had left for a planet that wasn’t supposed to be there, with a broken robot and an outdated vehicle. He had felt himself burning with rage and shame.

“I was…obviously in denial,” he had growled out, frustrated.

Ms Xander had sighed at his reaction. “Zim, I’m not judging you. You were convinced that they were your friends, that they cared. You were a kid with a lot of good intentions and trust, who wanted badly to prove himself. And they are your…Tallest,” she had tried to soothe him, her voice gentle and open once again. “I’m just trying to understand the extent of your relationship with them, so we can work on not having it being more than it should be. Because, as things are now, this bond is harmful for you. We need to…scale it down.” She then had smiled a bit. “Even if we have to admit that you have a real talent for denying the obvious.”

He had hated not being able to talk back to her last sentence, but the fact was that it couldn’t have been truer, even if she had been half joking while speaking it. He had always been incredibly good at being blind to the things he couldn’t or didn’t want to accept and see. It had made his life easier, on one hand, but on the other it had led him where he stood now. Perhaps, if he had learnt his lesson after his first banishment, he wouldn’t have reached such depths. The thought had haunted him in the following days, also because his task for the week was to try not to deny the obvious, at least in the little things. And it had turned out to be anything but easy.

“Stupid human rain,” he grumbled under his breath, crossing his arms on his chest. “Will you ever stop falling on Zim’s head?”

“Zim?” A familiar voice called from behind his back, causing him to start and whip his head around. Ms Xander smiled at him, from where she was standing a couple of steps behind him, holding a closed umbrella. “Hi. How are you doing? How was your day?”

The Irken’s expression lit up slightly at the sight of the woman. He refused to admit it, but, even though she bugged him most of the time, he had grown to respect her. Not for her height as it was imposed by his society and PAK instincts, or out of fear as it was for Gaz. Or out of some weird feeling of likeness and for the shared battles as it was for Dib. He recognised her competence and the fact that she was a valuable support for him in his current situation. Besides, while some of their talks left him unsettled or upset, they had usually made his day, when he had been in his darkest moods. Gratitude wasn’t something Irkens often experienced, but there were times when even the proudest of them had to recognise the undeniable value of a very useful tool.

“Acelynn-doc!” He exclaimed, unable to hide a hint of surprise. He hadn’t met to see her, of all people. Then he frowned as he went back glaring at the sky. “Meh, it’s raining. Zim hates the rain. It burns.” His eyes widened a bit at the admission that had slipped past his lips and he hurried to add: “I’m allergic to the stupid pollutants in it. It’s because of my…skin condition.” He pointed his face, while studying her expression for any eventual hint of suspicion. He found none.

“I see,” the woman nodded, showing instead a bit of worry. “You should always carry an umbrella with you, if you don’t want to get hurt.” She stepped forward and opened hers. “I can lend you mine. Or even better! Let me drive you home. It will be quicker and we’ll be sure that you don’t get wet. What do you say?”

The Invader tilted his head at the offer, but he nodded. Perhaps taking Ms Xander to his base wasn’t the most cautious move, but she seemed to have already made up her mind and, besides, he could exploit the situation to talk to her, since he had been forced to skip their first weekly meeting.

“Zim has one, but I never take it with me,” he grumbled as they headed for the woman’s car. He noticed that she was getting slightly wet on one side to make sure that he was fully under the umbrella. It was the same kind of care that she showed during their talks and it still made him uncomfortable, even after all that time.

“Maybe you should attach it to yourself, somehow,” the counsellor joked with a small grin, unlocking the car from the passenger side to let him in first, before walking around the vehicle. “This way you wouldn’t forget it.”

Zim’s expression turned calculating, dismissing the humorous hint in her voice. It wasn’t a bad idea. He could have added yet another device to his PAK, some sort of mechanical umbrella or even a more integral protective device. It would have spared him the trouble of bathing in paste every day, or at least offered him a solution when he forgot to do it. He would have asked the Computer to work on it with him that night. He was already an unofficial exile, so no one would have cared if he had tampered with his PAK a bit more. No law he could break could have made his destiny worse than it already was.

On the other side of the road, Dib was staring with wide eyes as his alien nemesis got in the car with the Skool counsellor. He had left the building with Gaz, but he had stayed behind to watch Zim glaring daggers at the rain. The resentful expression on the Invader’s face had been a lot of fun and he had wanted to see if his nemesis would have just stood there, waiting for the small storm to pass, or if he would have dared to do something riskier to escape it.

After over fifteen minutes, it had become clear that the Irken had reluctantly chosen the first option. The teen had been pondering whether or not walking back to the Skool entrance and offering him to share his umbrella when the woman had showed up. He could have sworn that he had seen his rival’s eyes lighting up when he had recognised her, but it couldn’t have been. He had to have imagined it. There was no reason why Zim should have been glad to see any human. And yet, the idea had lingered in the back of his mind and left an unpleasant feeling in his guts, one that he hadn’t been able to ignore completely, no matter how hard he had tried. There was something intrinsically wrong in the concept, for reasons he hadn’t cared to explore.

Instead, he had watched them talking easily, wondering what exactly was going on, but his confusion had turned into worry when the woman had pulled out her umbrella and had started to walk the alien to her car. She was taking him home and he was letting her. Zim never allowed anyone near his base, unless it was unavoidable or unless he had something nasty planned for them. In that case it had to be the second option, which meant that the counsellor was in danger. He had to do something before it was too late.

Without wasting more time, he closed his umbrella to be able to run and hurried after the car, not caring about the rain that was already starting to slowly soak his clothes.

╔ IZ ╗

“Just a moment!” Zim exclaimed, running ahead along the driveway of his base, trying to ignore the burning of the drops of rain that hit his skin. He reached the door and unlocked it, poking his head inside before calling out loudly: “GIR! Be a good normal Earthen dog. It’s an order! We have guest and I need you to behave.”

Since the car trip had lasted just a few minutes, he had decided to invite the woman inside to have a chance to talk to her a bit longer. She had accepted easily enough and the base was in order, so there shouldn’t have been problems. The only unpredictable variable was his SIR Unit, but the Invader felt a bit reassured when he saw his sidekick standing on attention in Duty Mode with a brief “Yes, master!”, before slipping his disguise on.

The Irken nodded in satisfaction and then opened the door completely, stepping inside and moving aside to let Ms Xander in. He watched as she looked around the place, noticing a hint of puzzlement in her expression, but aside from raising an eyebrow a few times she didn’t have any other reaction and simply went to sit on the couch as she was gestured to do. He decided that it was safe to leave her alone for a moment and went to the kitchen to fetch the extra waffles he hadn’t taken to Skool for lunch, GIR hot on his heels for the whole time.

“You have a very…interesting house, Zim,” the counsellor commented once he had joined her. She had to admit that there were a few details of the place that creeped her out, like the giant painting on the wall of living room and the garden, the lawn gnomes especially. If she had had any doubt left on the fact that her patient’s family was an eccentric one, which she hadn’t, the sight of the house would have chased them away.

Her attention then move to the disguised robot. The pet was a bit odd himself and didn’t look very smart, but she had to admit that he was cute, in his own special way. “And this must be GIR, isn’t it?” She extended a hand towards him, showing him her palm. “Hey, little buddy. Come here. I’ve hear a lot about you.”

“Thank you, Acelynn-doc. I think,” Zim answered, before nodding to his sidekick, who had turned towards him as to ask the permission to approach their guest. He carried the waffles to the couch and sat down in turn, setting the plate between them. “Yeah, that’s GIR.” He watched as the robot fell face down on the floor after the woman had scratched the top his head. “He is a real moron.”

“I think he’s really sweet, instead,” Ms Xander talked back with a small chuckle, moving her fingers to the fake dog’s belly as GIR turned to lie on his back. He was clearly enjoying the petting. No one ever stopped to cuddle him, especially not his master, and he absolutely enjoyed it. “So, where are your parents?”

The Irken looked down the pile of waffles. “They are away for…for the thing. You know, work,” he answered after a moment. It was much better to pretend that his parent units were out, rather than risking having the human interacting with his faulty robots. “I told you that they aren’t around much. But Zim doesn’t mind. I like it better this way.”

She nodded, even if she looked pensive for a moment. Zim had always struck her as very independent, even for his age, but she still didn’t like how isolated he was, even in his own home. “I understand. I liked it better too when my parents weren’t home, when I was your age.” She smiled at him. “What about your lab? I’d be curious to see it. For what you told me, you spend a lot of time there. Is it underground?”

The Invader’s head shot up again and his eyes widened in panic for a moment. Showing her his lab? It would have been like taking off his contact lenses and wig. “Uh, the lab, yes. It’s…It’s underground, but we can’t go there. No. Not now,” he stumbled on his words, his mind looking frantically for a good excuse that could pass the test of her expectant blue eyes. Damned instructor-like look. “It’s a real mess and…and…I have a big, big…big experiment going on and it needs to be left alone or it will be compromised!” That sounded good. He eyed her hopefully. “Yes, yes! I spent a looot of time working on it and it would be a disaster if it was ruined.”

Ms Xander blinked slightly at his sudden agitation and couldn’t help wondering what the teen could be really doing in the lab that he didn’t want her to see, but she decided not to investigate for the moment. She still couldn’t help wondering a bit, because Zim did nothing but talking about destruction and secret missions, but he had never harmed anyone, as far as she knew. She had asked around, to be sure, and, not having been reported any relevant episode. She was also aware that he and Dib had had quite some fights on Skool ground, but none of them had ever ended up at the hospital for what she had been told. So, she had chosen to give him the benefit of doubt, at least until any worrisome evidence had come up.

“Maybe another time, then,” she conceded with a small wave of her hand as she picked up a piece of waffle. The flavour was a bit weird, but they weren’t bad. “So, you really like science, don’t you?” She resumed once she was done chewing. “And building things, right?”

The alien bit back a huge relieved sigh when she let her request go and quickly nodded, eager to get the conversation away from the subject of his lab. “Yes. Zim is very good with technology,” he confirmed proudly, lifting his chin slightly. That was something that not even his status as Defective could deny. The fact that most of his machines ended up malfunctioning because of external interferences didn’t count. He was skilled when it came to project and build them, he had always been. The same couldn’t have been said about his chemical experiments because he mostly ended up creating monsters, but that was a whole other story.

The woman nodded. “I asked because I was thinking about what you said before, about the rain and your skin condition,” she went on, looking pleased with his answer. She hadn’t taken her patient home with the aim of offering counselling, but since Zim himself seemed so eager to spend some time with her, she had decided to use the opportunity. “We’ve been talking about trying to focus on goals that are…more constructive, remember? Well, you could try to build something that can fight those pollutants you’re allergic to. This way the rain won’t be such a problem for you anymore and you’ll also be doing something good for the world. I know that it’s a big task and I don’t expect you to find a solution in a matter of months, but you could see it as a…science project. Something fun and interesting you can do in your free time.”

The Irken stared at her for a few moments, his mind elaborating the suggestion. That was another brilliant plan that he should have thought of years before, but that had never really touched his mind. He had been too focused on trying to destroy the Earth to even consider fixing the planet’s faults. Not that he cared about making it a better place for humans, but that would benefit him before anyone else. Especially since he was stuck there until further notice. He knew that talking to that woman would have turned out to be a good idea. With his advance technology, he wouldn’t have taken years as she had implied, and not even months. Perhaps, a few weeks, if he took his time.

A small smug smirk opened on his face. “Acelynn-doc, you should give Zim these…science projects more often.”

╔ IZ ╗

By the time he had reached his rival’s base, Dib was completely soaked. Both his hair and clothes were dripping water and he couldn’t clear his glasses from the drops of rain because he didn’t have anything that was dry enough to do the job. He stopped in front of the gate that led inside the garden, eyes lingering on the gnomes. The creepy devices had instantly turned towards him as he had entered their field of view, threateningly staring at him with their white eyes.

He studied them dubiously. The upgraded security system was still mostly in place, he had checked, so he knew that they would try to capture him as soon as he would have crossed the perimeter. He moved his gaze on the house. It was quiet, but the woman’s car was parked in front of it, so she had to be inside. The silence in that case was as reassuring as the sound of horrible screams would have been. He gulped slightly. He had to reach one of the windows, to at least have an idea of what was going on. Then, if it had been the case, he would have tried and broken in.

Sucking in a breath he launched himself past the small gate, rolling on the ground to avoid the metal arms that shot out to grab him. A laser was shot in his direction, missing its target, but functioning very well as a warning that the teen, however, forced himself to ignore as he kept trying to approach the building.

In the same moment when he had taken the first step inside the garden, an alarm had started to blare inside the house, making both Zim and Ms Xander start. The Invader had jumped on his feet in one instant, already heading for the kitchen.

“It’s the…uh, the PHONE!” He yelled, both to be heard above the loud sound and because he was in a hurry to find an excuse, before disappearing in the next room. “Computer, terminate the alarm, immediately!” He barked then, in Irken, just in the unlikely case that the woman could hear him talking. “We have a human in our base!”

“But, master, the Dib is trying to break in. I needed to warn you,” the machine pointed out, but it carried out the order, the sound ceasing as abruptly as it had started. “Should I terminate the intruder too?”

Zim hesitated for a moment. He was aware that the only way to stop his nemesis from trying to break in was either to kill him, which hadn’t been an option in a long time, or to knock him out. However, he couldn’t risk leaving him unconscious on the pavement for Ms Xander to see when she would have taken her leave and he didn’t want to drag the teen in the underground part of his base and abandon him there mostly unsupervised either. It was never a good idea to allow the human close to his instrumentation. He clenched his fists for a moment, quickly making his decision.

“We can’t terminate him with a witness here,” he stated firmly, frowning slightly. “Keep him busy for a few more minutes and then let him in. Zim will handle him. And make me something that fits the definition of human “coffee”! This instant!”

“As you wish, sir!”

A couple of minutes later, the Computer dropped a steaming mug of coffee and an Irken soda in his master’s waiting hands and the Invader marched back into the living room, managing to make it half way to the couch before the door suddenly burst open, just as he knew it would have.

Dib stood in the doorway, soaked in rain, clothes stained with the mud from the garden and wearing a very determined expression on his face. When the metal arms had suddenly stopped attacking him, he had suspected that it could be a trap, but he had still chosen to take his chances and had rushed to the entrance. No lethal weapon had been fired at him and he hadn’t fallen into any hole that had suddenly open under his feet, so he had decided that he was as safe as he could be around his nemesis.

“Zim, whatever you’re planning to do, I’ll stop…” He started to yell, but the words died in his throat as he took in the scene in front of him. The woman wasn’t in any sort of danger as he had expected. She was comfortably sat on the alien’s couch, stopped mid gesture while she had been reaching out to take the mug that Zim was offering, her other hand set on the top of a disguised GIR’s head. She had clearly been petting him.

The teen gaped, not knowing what to think. What the hell was going on there? Where were the instruments for torture and experimentation? There wasn’t even a computer screen in sight and his rival was still playing the part of the “normal” human boy, with his wig and contact lenses on.

“Uh…” He let out, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid and definitely out of place, in his wet, dirty state. “S-Sorry to interrupt. I thought that…that Zim was…up to something.”

The Irken offered him a smirk so smug that Dib wished he could have just walked across the room and punched him. However, since he didn’t want to embarrass himself even further, he just took a step inside and closed the door behind him. The woman seemed to have recovered from her surprise a bit, but she kept staring at him for a few moments, before forcing a smile.

“Hello, Dib. You are Dib Membrane, aren’t you? The nemesis,” she greeted, her grin relaxing and becoming sincerer at the boy’s puzzlement. She had to admit that she had been curious to meet her patient’s arch rival. She had read his file and the poor kid had to have just as many problems as Zim, considering what was written in those records. He had even been sent to the Crazy House for Boys once. She could see why the two of them were so close despite their difficult, often conflictual relationship. They had a lot in common, starting from their being both outcasts and perceived as different, even if not for the same reasons. “Zim has told me a lot about you.”

It was the scythe-haired boy’s turn to stare in confusion, his mind unable to put the pieces together. He could see the Invader waving his hands frantically, as to try to halt the conversation, but he didn’t acknowledge him, too focused on the woman to care. He couldn’t make sense of her being in his rival’s house, invited and unharmed, and of her knowing about the relationship he and the alien shared. Zim had talked with her about him. What was that supposed to mean? Was she a disguised alien too? It was the most plausible, even if quite unrealistic, explanation his mind could come up with.

“Yes, it’s…it’s me,” he confirmed, sounding terribly unsure. “You’re the…the Hi Skool counsellor. You came to our class that day…when Louis was found dead.”

Ms Xander couldn’t help a small chuckle at the taller teen’s expression. The poor kid was unable to make sense of the facts. Was it so absurd to think that her patient had accepted to come and do some therapy with a psychologist? She was ready to admit that Zim didn’t look like the kind of person who would believe in such a thing, but the situation they were in was pretty revealing. “Yes, Dib, that was me. My name is Acelynn Xander.”

Her answer didn’t bring any clarity to Dib who kept on staring, trying to figure out the answer to his questions without having to pose them. However, he was clearly failing so, after a few more moments, he resigned himself to ask, even if, from the woman’s expression, he could tell that he was missing something painfully obvious. “I…I don’t understand. What are you doing here? With him?”

“Don’t tell him!” Zim stepped in, moving forwards too, as if he had been attempting to physically go to stand between the woman and his nemesis, but he froze as the counsellor gave him the instructor-like look. “We had a deal! You said that you wouldn’t tell if Zim didn’t want you to!”

“We have a deal, yes. But, at this point, he’ll figure it out anyway as soon as he recovers from the surprise. Even if I don’t tell him,” the woman calmly pointed out. “So, it’s better if I put us all out of this misery.” She turned back towards Dib. “I’m Zim’s therapist.”

The Irken let out a horrified screech at those words, even if deep down he had to agree with her explanation. But it didn’t mean that he liked it. He should have asked the Computer to knock the nosy human out and dealt with him later. Instead, he had ended up revealing one of his most shameful secrets to his nemesis. How much would it take to the other to find out that his race had abandoned him now? He really needed to start thinking before acting.

Dib, on his part, kept gaping for the most, the shocked expression renewed on his face and now addressed at the Invader. “You…You…” He tried to say, but he had to stop himself since his voice wasn’t working properly.

He took in a deep breath. That explained where his rival went during the lunch breaks and the lessons twice a week. It could also explain part of his weird behaviours and some of his choices, even if there was obviously more to them. And yet, even now that he had heard it from the counsellor herself, it still sounded too absurd to be true. “You’re in therapy?”

Zim opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out of his lips and instead he contorted himself on his feet for a few moments, almost ending up on the floor. Then he seemed to finally have got some control on himself back and pointed a finger towards Dib. “You LIE! Filthy, filthy lies!” He screamed hysterically, shaking his head.

Ms Xander brought her hands to her ears, managing to spare herself the most high-pitched part of her patient’s yelling and then rubbed her temple slowly. “Zim, we talked about this in the last session,” she scolded him, gently. “What’s your task for the week?”

The alien let his arm drop. “Trying not to deny the obvious,” he grumbled in a much quieter tone. His expression turned slightly dejected. So much for managing to fulfil his tasks. “Zim knows, Acelynn-doc. But I can’t help it.”

She sighed. “I know. I never said that it would have been easy,” she offered in a soothing tone. “So, why don’t you try again?” She gestured towards the scythe-haired boy. “Answer his question.”

The reluctance in the Irken’s eyes and stance was so thick that it was almost palpable, but he nodded anyway and spoke, mostly muttering under his breath and without looking at his nemesis: “Yes, Dib-pig. Zim is in therapy, you filthy Earth scum.”

“Very good, Zim,” the counsellor praised, but then she bit back the umpteenth exasperated sigh. “Even if we really need to have a talk about the name calling.”

“NEVER!” The Invader opposed firmly, clenching his fists at his side. “I am in control of the talks and I refuse to change the way I address the meat worms that inhabits this ball of dirty! Because I’m still in control, am I not?”

This time the woman was forced to lift her hands in surrender. “Yes, Zim, of course. That will never change. It’s one of the basic terms of our arrangement.”

“Good.” Zim nodded in satisfaction, even if deep down he was still burning with humiliation. He needed to be rid of his rival before the other could digest the information he had received and use it against him or to get more details about his situation. “Now, the Dib will leave.”

He stepped forward and grabbed the still dazed teen by the coat, starting to pull him towards the door. The wet cloth burnt him slightly through the thick material of his glove, but he ignored the uncomfortable feeling. “And no objections, Acelynn-doc!” He added, knowing that the woman would have tried to object without needing to turn to look at her. “You said that I have to make my own choices, so I now choose to throw the worm child out of my house!”

Ms Xander closed the mouth she had opened to protest about the way in which her patient had been treating the other boy. It was useless. Zim had already made up his mind. So, instead, she downed the coffee she had almost forgotten, finding out that it tasted as weird as the waffles had, grabbed her bag and joined the two on the doorstep, after having given one last gentle pat to GIR’s head.

“I should go too. I have work to do at home,” she stated with a small smile, opening her umbrella. “I’ll see you Friday, Zim.” She nodded to him, cutting off whatever complaint had been about to leave the Irken’s mouth. “Dib.” And with that, she started to walk towards the car.

The Invader let out a frustrated noise and pushed the teen out of the door, slamming it shut as soon as the latter had landed on the driveway. He then let his head bang against the reinforced surface, realising what he had just done. He had left his nemesis alone with his therapist. So much for thinking before acting.

“Master?” GIR called from where he was standing next to him, tagging at the hem of his uniform. He had taken off the head of his disguise and his teal eyes were fixed on the alien. “Will the nice lady come back again? I really, really liiiiked her!”

“I don’t think so, GIR,” he grumbled, grabbing the robot by the hand. “But I can take you to see her somewhere else. Maybe. If you behave. Now, let’s go to the lab. We have work to do.”

“Yay! Tacos!” The SIR Unit chirped, excited. “Are we trying to wreck the planet again? Or to get back at Mary for having such a big head?”

“No, GIR. Even if we’ll do that too. Later.” Zim raised his free fist to his face. “We are going to defeat the Earth rain of doom! Computer, take us down!”

“Dooooooom!” GIR yelled as the floor opened under their feet, sending them falling down in the dark, underground depths of the building.